Rock On !!!

India has given a lot of things to the world. Taj Mahal, Ragas, Yoga aasans, Chicken Tikka and above all a billion plus people. One Billion and counting for that matter. And you know what...People do many things to survive...Some are into government services, some run their own business while some others find it hard to earn 1 meal a day and hence are forced into begging or prostitution..
Now all of you know us would expect a detailed anatomy of prostitution in the following lines/paras(you perverts!!!!!) but to your disappointment we gonna talk about begging. You might see a lot of people begging @ traffic signal or outside railway station and apart from sharing their mis-fortunes(or the lack of a fortune) they share one more thing....and thats the songs that they sing to catch your attention...These people don't seem to have much of songs in their repertoire...i mean they use songs which would not only be apt for the situation but also would get them money...The 3 pinhole team did a survey to find out the top 5 songs sung by beggars to get money(keeping the current recession in mind, who knows when these might come handy ;))

• Pardesi Pardesi jaana nahi
• Tuney mujhe bulaya sheran waaliye
• Zindagi ki na toootey ladi
• Garibon ki suno, woh tumhari sunega..tum ek paisa dogey, woh das lakh dega
• Shirdi wale sai baba, aaya hai tere darr pe sawali
• Duniya banane wale, kya tere mann main samai
• Jeeta tha jiske liye, main uske liye marta tha...ek aisi ladki thi jisse main pyar karta tha
  

Now before i sign off i want to make one thing very clear..we, in any way of form, aren't making fun of these people ..we are just having a lil fun on the choice of songs...they obviously aren't doing it by choice..and we would wish that they get money and give up this style of living.
PS: Save us the stories about how beggars own flats and stuff..we all have read those fwded emails.

Breakup!!!!!!!

HOOLLLLLLLLLLAAA! How are you guys!!! Hope you still remember the name!!!! Anyhow, I know it’s been ages since we have written anything and I totally blame it on the job…but Hey…“HATE THE GAME NOT THE PLAYER” ....we all can tell you how fucked up we have been off late but that I think you all pretty much know that so let’s just cut the slack and give you something exciting to read about..

Splitsvilla!!!! For anyone who has ever had a relation, would have a good understanding as to what this word means, and how it can get to you!!! More emotionally than physically!! No physicality involver here…once you lose him/her, you lose all the physical part ;).

Different people deal with their emotions differently. While some take solace in music, some others find eating therapeutic. Now who’s emotionally strong, a guy or a gurl , is a debatable question but I personally feel that gurls are more deterministic…they will cry, they will sob, they will burn all the things that remind them of their guy, they will talk non-sense but once decided, they get over with it and won’t go back to the guy…Guys on the other hand like to cling on the past, for you haven’t seen a female Devdas isn’t it!!…its men who are shown as SORE LOSERS…and that’s the general perception.

We, at 3pinhole, have a different theory though..Theory that we think everyone realizes but no one talks about. Taboo thing.

And here goes the theory: In a break-up situation the only person who ‘moves-on’ is the one who has got a better deal than the other party.

What that means is …………………Get the guy a HOT(TER), caring gurl (though these 2 words are rarely seen together) AND tell him that his ex got a LOSER ( an IT professional maybe???) and he will never ever think about his ex. Likewise , for a Girl..get her a makeover, a stud AND tell her that her ex is dating a NO-LOOKER and she would be content.

The important part here is the AND cuz that’s the DEAL part. That’s the part which is comforting. Cuz if the ‘AND’ thing does not happen, you still would be caught in the web, you still will think about the other partner.

Personally I feel that this AND factor spoils the relation too. I mean more than enjoying the company of your current partner you either spend time thinking about the what your ex would be doing or you try to compare your partners(current and ex) and that’s where things start going wrong.

Well this is a never ending subject..and maybe after reading/listening to ur comments, we will release a part2 of it….so let us know what you think , how u feel or how u felt ;)

Adios people!!!

Till next time…(and I promise that would be pretty soon)

Nationalhighway

Lies!!! Mans view!!!!!

Its been quite a while since we have updated our blog..i guess we can blame it on the holiday season...I know we could have used this time and could have comeup with some interesting topics but hey we 3 are guys, we like to do our part of prayers and celebrations but ofcourse over drinks, goes without saying i guess.So while we were sitting in different parts of the world, sipping different drinks(KingFisher, Bud Light and Red wine) we had just one thing on our mind. What to pick for this article.

So here comes another controversial topic !!!

LIES!!!

It's been said that "Everybody lies sometimes."

And it's true. Everyone does lie from time to time. Men lie; women lie. Husbands lie, friends lie, wives lie, everyone lies.

So why do people lie? what forces them to lie? But first of all what is a lie?

A lie is something thats formed around a grain of fact, around several layers of fabrication. Some people lie out of habit while someothers are made to lie. Some lie to avoid confrontation while someother lie to just keep the things going. Reason or no reason, lies do form an integral part of our lives.

Men typically lie about everything. While there are times where we HAVE to lie, there are occations where we FEEL like lying as well. For men i guess its a mundane part of life. Indispensable.

If i have to sit and think as to when was the first time i lied. It will be probably way back in Class I or somewhere around that time. And if you ask me the question, i would imagine it would have been "Dhoodh khatam kiya?" or maybe "Homework kiya???"

I was a incorrigable liar(WAS???!!?? who am i kidding). I lied as a kid. Everytime. Everyday. To my parents. To my friends. To my teachers.Hell sometimes even to me. I lied about "not getting result papers" to my parents. I lied about having numerous affairs with girls to my friends. I lied to my teachers about forgetting notebook @ home. I lied to myself that i was a stud and every chick was crazy about me. Every uncaught lie made me stronger, made me more confident, gave me the dare to lie more. So i lied. I lied as a kid and i loved it.I lied about coming home late from school. I lied about going to friends place to get a notebook but instead ran to one of those video game parlours where i would have fair chance to save the world or "the queen" (remember MARIO or CONTRA).

I see my nephew and how he lies about finishing his lunchbox. To him, as long as he brings a empty tiffin box home, noone will probably ask him anything. Cuz noone will expect a 4yr old to lie huh! Little do they know that its not the AGE, its the genes(making his uncle proud!!! I C!!!) :) His teacher sent a note home that he is offering his lunch to other kids and not eating the food himself. so eversince he got caught, he has started dumping the food into a trashcan and since he has seen a lil more world now, he answers the standard question "finished ur lunch????" with a simple answer "go see my lunchbox!!!!!" I dont think we can call that a lie, can we? :)

I checked with couple of my friends if they lied as a kid? and what made them lie? And to my surprise everyone told me that they all started @ a pretty young age. So how do they pick on lies? What forces a kid, a young one and then an adult to lie?

I feel as a kid or as a young one, you pick lying as a tool for avoiding punishment or blame. Cuz thats the only thing you fear. You fear the wrath!!You fear the fury!!!!!! Even though you know that doing certain things can land you in trouble, your inquisite side takes over and often results in spankings. I still remember me getting kicked around by my dad. My punishment would be based on the sin or crime i would have committed. From twisting my ears to grabbing me by my hair and moving my head in circles to slaps to getting beaten by a piece of plastic pipe(one you use to water ur garden with), ive gotten all. There is nothing anyone would hate more than to see getting his ass kicked by their parents in front of everybody, in the open street. I dont know about you guys but ive been in many such situations(like i keep telling you, im your Been there, done that guy) and the first thing that comes to your mind is how to get INSIDE your house as quickly as possible. I bet that would have been my fastest 100/200/400 mt dashes.

Your parents would think that you-lie-i-beat formula will stop you from lying. It will infuse fear in your mind and hence you would stop lying but lil do they know that we try and look for workarounds. We look for more creative ways of lying, more innovative ways of hiding our faults. Once you get scolded for reading comics(the likes of Nagraj,Doga and the superbrain Chacha Chowdhary), you dont give up reading 'em. You simply look for a better technique. Like stuffing the comic book in the middle of your book so it appears to your folks that you are actually studying.

Like one of our friends(Dr.Chin2) told us, he used to wear those beenies(known as monkey caps in India) and plug in the headphones while pretending to study. But what he forgot was to turn down the volume. So while his father came to his room to pick something he heard the music waves coming from "somewhere", only to realize later that it was his son who was playing music. You can imagine what happened to him after he got caught.

So it all starts at a pretty young age. Then when you get into college or a different school, Start hanging out with the so called "Big-guns", you lie every second of the day. Or rather you live a lie. The primary reason for this is that you want to enhance your self-esteem and social status. You lie about having a GF first, you lie about having "done" it with her. Its not that this will get you anything, its just that all this will save you from being the outcast. Cuz girls, partying and sex is the thing everyone else seem to be doing and to be the "one" in the crowd, you tend to lie. Lie your way to popularity.Its the game of one-upmanship. And you dont want to loose there.

Im sure you would have lied too...and i believe you still lie....in your job, in your relationships...and im sure as hell its one amongst the following reason

• YOU AS A NORMAL THING TO DO
• MEN WOULD CHOOSE TO LIE BECAUSE WOMEN WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND
• A THOUGHT THAT WOMEN CAN’T FACE THE TRUTH
• BY LYING, THINGS WILL GO ON

Comments Must!!!

Overrated things in life!!! Life isnt a movie!!!

So... i was driving to work listening to my regular "morning show" talk about the things they talk about ... and sometimes the subjects are stupid .. and that's when I throw in a CD and blast my way to work "listening" to something mind numbing until my car finds its way into the parking lot at work ... or .. other times I will listen -- if they decide to talk about something REALLY hilarious -- then i get to laugh my a$$ off all the way to work and wonder how I got here without crashing into someone on the way!!

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Today's subject:

The MOST Overrated Places to Have Sex!!!

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Callers were invited to call in and tell their stories.... and you know everyone listening is thinking "hmmm... what's the most ridiculous place *I* have done the nasty" ?!?! (you know YOU'RE thinking that RIGHT NOW, huh?!) Some of the more hilarious ones from the listeners....

- Lady Calls in: CAR HOOD... Bad Idea... She says….I was about 16 and my boyfriend and I thought it would be really cool to do it on the hood of his car while it was raining... You know? Like in the movies? It looks so Glamourous? So Sexxxxxy? Slippery? Wet? Hair Slicked back... Wet Bodies?? No!!! You struggle to keep you’re a$$es on the car hood... slipping and slidding... Squeeking... Grasping for something – ANYthing-- to hold onto.... All the while HE tries to get a better position and practically puts his knee thru the windshield (neverMIND it's your ol' mans car!) ... oh!! and then you look beside you and see WORMS!! WTF is that!!?!? .. NO!!! Not so GLAMOUROUS!!!

- Dude calls in: Never Do it in the BACK YARD... Yeah.. Last Nite... (last nite? i think to myself… it was only 40 some degrees out, if that!!) ... He says…Me and the Wife were in the BACK YARD ... having a bonfire.. and you know, had a couple cocktails, got a little happy ... found the inside of the sleeping bag... and you know.. it was all cool when she was QUIET .. but then it got a LITTLE Out-Of-ConTrol “IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN” ... Next thing ya know -- I looked up .. the neighbor lady had come home and she was looking out her kitchen window – staring at us with the phone in her hand!! We were SOOO busted!!! She was not happy. Not a good idea, man. Back Yard… Not a good idea!!

They listed many others.. all that *sound* cool .. or TV make them look lavish....

• Bathroom Stall ... (ok, WHY do ppl want to do it where somebody -- MANY MANY ppl take a crap?!?! P.U.!! where is the romance there, huh??)·
• Car / Truck ... moving ... not sure why we would have sex while driving... but even while the car is STOPPED its all in such a cramped quarters... bruises are bound to happen!!
• Park Bench ... kinda hard (not like a soft bed) ... kinda SMALL ... (not like a regular sized bed) ... risky ... maybe theres where the thrill lies???·
• Bathtub -- too small, not really built for two, water, soap, porceline.. kinda dangerous place to take your endorphines to their high point....
• Shower -- Again .. the whole slippery, soapy scene seems a little dangerous here....
• Jacuzzi -- ever wonder why it says jac-ewwwww-zi??? yuk!!!! and are man parts REALLY expected to work under such conditions -- i mean that water is SCORCHING HOT!!!! you got the opposite of turtle effect going on here...
• Pool / Ocean – sounds fun… ok, I can agree.. but really, water is not a natural lubricant .. trust me on this!!

I don’t know about you … but I think I will always love being romanced in a nice, fluffy, soft BED! :) thats why its called S.E.X... Symphony , Ecstasy, X marks the spot..cuz thats wat u really want huh ;)

PS: Thanks to all the readers for suggesting new ideas and asking us for more raunchy things :)

Tribute

Keeping this months theme alive. I thought of writing this post. This post is a tribute to all those creative writers whose work just gets unnoticed because 99% of the time their creative emails land in our junk/spam email folder.
We at 3pinhole just did a random check on the kind of emails that we get in and also most of our friends inboxs and then we compiled these few amazing subject lines

• Get a Monster inside your pant
• She'll beg to blow you
• Be the WInner you dreamed of
• Lead the Sexual Revolution
• Her mouth wrapped around my sausage
• With 15 times the power, u cant go wrong
• She'll ride u over and over
• Boost your night experience
• Add some extra inches to your popularity
• Grow,Grow and Grow
• Be the winner you dreamed of
• She came so hard she squirted
• When she came it was a downpour

No disparity here, we just didn’t had any girl volunteers. Someone who would let us take a look @ their spam box. Wonder what’s in there!!!! Would have meant nothing though, Just like ours mean nothing :-P

Evolution!!!!

Evolution of a middle class guy!!!!!…Something that puts a smile on my face…Something that never fails to amaze me.

• From “I like this scent” to “I like this perfume or cologne”
• From “I’m going to have a bath” to “I’m gonna hit the shower”
• From Rexona or Cinthol soap bars to Dove/Axe Body wash
• From Red Hill Underwear’s to Jockey Boxers
• From Charlie or Playboy perfume to CK/Davidoff’s
• From Walkmans to iPods
• From Big nostril coffee machines @ marriages to cappuccinos
• From Action shoes to Nike Jordan’s
• From 5star to Snickers
• From Malkit Singh to Metallica
• From Sabzi Mandi to Grocery Shopping
• From Aristocrat to Johnny Walker
• From Aloo tikki to McAaloo
• From Timex watches to Tommy Hilfiger

Men and Porn

Continuing our discussion on the taboo topics, we,this month, present to you the dark side of male psychology. The side which should have been 'accepted' by the society(considering that every male was or IS associated with it) but is still a BIG NO-NO.

Its our association with PORN.

In case you are a Guy you probably would have never thought of the association. Like Why it happened? (Though u will exactly remember as to when and how it happened) Is it right or wrong? and so on...These are the questions which u wont think to urself.Cuz to guys,to us, this is something that nature teaches us. It is something that comes naturally to us, something that we have evolved upon...Just like walking, just like driving a car, Just like riding a bike. We have had our falls(pun intended) but we have learned and we have gone from strength to strength ;).

So why exactly are men so inclined towards porn?

At its most basic level, pornography answers natural human curiosity. Adolescent boys want to know what sex is about, and porn certainly demonstrates the mechanics. Curiosity?!?!?!? And that too only in guys ??? My female friends would surely love to ask me as to what makes guys or boys so curious.


Well first of all the physical changes that happen make us curious. Now these changes happen for both the sexes but unlike girls we dont have anybody who can walk us through that phase. If i have to put it on the table, I would say that Girls are 'taught' as to how to use a sanitary napkin but nobody tells a guy as to what happens to his willy when he gets up in the morning. There you go!!! I said it!!!!! We dont have no friends when it comes to adoloscence.

Another thing that drive boys towards Porn is the stiff competition. Its a world known fact that boys are treated more harshly than their female counterparts .The competition is always a double edged sword. It kills everyone. As a young boy you dont care which school you study in or whats your rank in class. All you want is to do your homework and then go play with your friends, Make dungeons in Sand piles, Tie a thread to a grasshoper or play with the stray dog of your street.

But the society wants us to push the envelope.Always. You top your class, next thing you father will want from you is you to come first in your colony and who knows maybe district or country someday. Its an insatiable hunger. I dont think girls go through the same ordeal.

If you do well in studies, you will probably be sent to some boarding school, away from your childhood friends, away from all the things u love. Away to Loneliness. Even if you are an average kid you will be asked to concentrate on your studies.Your playtime will be cut, your social interaction will be none, except for the family functions or marriages. They will drive you to Loneliness.

So my point here is that boys are driven to use porn through loneliness.Loneliness because of being away from home or Loneliness because of questioning/conditional acceptance.

Like many men, I first saw pornography during puberty. And as ive told you, i still remember those days. The days of going to the local video parlour and asking for a porn movie.It was just what you did. It was cool, naughty and everyone was doing it.Ask a guy and he will tell you how much of planning and effort goes into going to a video parlour and renting a porn movie. Watching a porn movie wasnt less than cracking a puzzle. We,guys, had to tc of lot of permutations and combinations. Back in the day VCR's were considered to a luxury item, not everyone could afford them. so we had to list all the friends who had VCR's. Rule out all those who lived in joint families. Then for the ones living in nuclear families we picked those who had both their parents working.

And if that wasnt enough, our next task normally was to goto a parlour and not only ask for it but also hide that huge bulky cassette somewhere in our pockets or sometimes in our undies.Now different places have different naming conventions. At some places its called "BF"(nick named from Blue Film, i still wonder about the association of color BLUE with a porn movie..maybe it was used to make your BLUES go away...i donno), some called it "masala", some called it pondi, some called it "saamann" , we @ our place called it "kheera"(as cucumber..we have a punju phrase that talks about it..ask me and i will tell you).

It was fun, it was adventure. Its our first tyrst with authority. Its something that WE control. Nobody tells us what to do or how to do. Nobody evaluates our performance. I guess thats the thing guys love about Porn. Its a world where noone challenges your authority. Its a world in which every woman is your willing and grateful servant. I know sounds gross but hey you cant expect more from a 13-14 year old, Can you????

We love it, get hooked on to it, some even get obsessed but it but then we evolve. Cuz we realize that porn is fantasy world. Its a lie. It peddles falsehoods about men, women and human relationships. It teaches us lots of untruths. The primary being that "women are always available". It is something that you have to unlearn and the sooner you do it, the faster will be your transition to reality. But 13 or 30 we all watch it.

I would sum this up by saying that we, men, dont want porn cuz we like or desire the women in the movie. We dont want it cuz we arent getting enough from you. We watch to get it off.